Yes,Yes,Yes! No, No, No!

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Before I start telling my story this week I wanted to give a quick overview of what my website is about. These stories are taken from my journals that I kept on my mission trips over the years to Albania, Turkey, Kazakhstan, Liberia, and Kenya. I first became involved in missions with Campus Crusade for Christ showing the Jesus Film in Albania shortly after the fall of communism. Going into the villages made me realize a need for healthcare in these villages so I began doing dental missions in remote villages among the Albanians and Gypsies. These relationships opened the door for me to get involved with earthquake relief in Turkey. Those relationships got my name “out there” and I was asked to do the same thing in Kazakhstan, Liberia, and Kenya setting up clinics in villages, orphanages, and the slums. My stories are posted about one a week with the newest posting at the top of the page. Scroll on down and read, and leave a personal comment at the end of a particular story. Let me know where you are from, and how the story touched you. People are reading this weblog on every continent now except from Antarctica and from many countries. It’s a blast to learn about new cultures. I hope you enjoy the stories, and that they inspire you to make your own!

Remember the scene in that great old movie, Singing in the Rain, when the studio was doing the public screening for its first “talky” movie? In addition to the terrible sound recording the sound track actually got out of sync with the film and the actors went into a hilarious argument, with the actions just opposite from the words. One actor vigorously shouted, “No, No, No!” while nodding her head yes, and the other adamantly exclaimed, “Yes, Yes, Yes!” while shaking his head no. That same scene is often played out when foreigners go into Albania for the first time.

One of the cultural differences that took me the longest to get used to was the Albanians nodding their heads up and down when they mean no, and shaking their heads from side to side when they mean yes. This of course is the opposite from just about everyone else in the world except for Bulgarians. It took me several trips to Albania before I  became instinctively aware that just because they were shaking their heads no in English they were actually shaking their yes in Albanian. I spent my first couple of times there worried that the villagers did not agree with what I was saying through the interpreter as they many times enthusiastically shook their heads.

It was not uncommon to see not only me, but other first time Americans shaking then nodding then shaking again with bewildered looks on our faces as we tried to conform to the new custom. I eventually just began rolling my head in a circular motion, which was always good for a light hearted laugh with the villagers at my, and every other Americans expense.

We got in trouble more than once when we were offered something and we either didn’t get it when we wanted it, or we got it when we didn’t want it just because of an improper head response. It seemed that actions usually spoke louder than words because the Albanian villagers in the early days didn’t expect Americans to be able to speak or understand any Albanian, so even though we might vocalize yes in Albanian by saying po, if we nodded our heads up and down American style it was taken for a no. The same with saying no, or jo (pronounced yo), but shaking our heads from side to side invariably always resulted in us getting something that we didn’t want.

Probably the worst case—and I think the funniest I’m ashamed to say—came in that first year of my missions, which I described in my previous story, The Night of the Chicken. Again this story revolves around my American friend Greg. In our third village of the Jesus Film cycle—described in previous posts—our team was split up into two parts with Greg and I in different homes. Greg and Bledi were asked to spend the night in the home of a man whose wife and children were away visiting family in another village. The man quickly let it be known to Greg and Bledi that he wanted to stay up and smoke cigarettes and drink raki since it was not something he normally got to do when his wife was at home. As I described in my previous story, What Proof Was That Again?, I recounted that raki is a moonshine made in most cases from distilled grapes in just about every village in the Balkans. It can sometimes have an alcohol content of up to 80% or 160 proof. I don’t think anyone just naturally likes raki the first hundred times or so they taste it—let me rephrase that—abuse themselves with it, but it has become a fairly significant part of the village culture that we were always running into.

Bledi was very proficient in English, but at this time in his English studies his mind could still fatigue after a whole day of constantly translating everything, or nearly everything that was being said in English back to the villagers in Albanian, and then from the Albanian to the English. That night Bledi, after a while, had become exhausted from his duties as translator, and told Greg that he was sleepy and he was going to sleep. This action, although certainly understandable after a hard day of travel and translating, left poor Greg at the willful whim of the man who wanted to smoke and drink. Greg was left to fend for himself having no Albanian understanding of his own, hosted by an Albanian villager who understood and spoke no English. Now to clarify the situation the host was simply being hospitable. He was following the code of Lekë Dukagjini written hundreds of years ago concerning the proper conduct of Albanians towards strangers and travelers. The man wanted his guest, Greg, to feel as much at home as possible. The host was willing to go out of his way to make Greg and Bledi feel welcome. Unfortunately for Greg this hospitality consisted of food, lodging, comradeship, smoking, and drinking raki. Each time the man offered Greg a cigarette he shook his head vigorously NO! from his English point of view, which of course was a vigorous Yes! in Albanian. This prompted the man to joyfully stuff cigarette after cigarette into poor Greg’s protesting mouth. This was also the case with the raki, which was nearly ladled down Greg’s throat with each shake of his head. The man truly felt he had found a worthy comrade. A companion to revel the night away.

The next morning as we were meeting at our rendezvous site to be picked up by the helicopter Greg pulled me aside and told me of his harrowing experience. He begged me to never leave him again in a separate house. I honestly felt terrible for Greg, but at the same time I couldn’t help but see the humor in it—which means I did everything I could to not bust out laughing. Eventually, after his upset stomach and head ache went away… Greg also saw the humor in it and it became a motivator for both of us to practice saying yes and no in the Albanian way.

Now I am going to get up on my little soap box and say how important it is for us as travelers who go into another culture, or to another people group, to do all we can to learn the customs of the local people and to modify our behavior to fit  their’s for at least as long as we are in their “space”.  We shouldn’t assume that they all speak English, and we shouldn’t expect them to. Try to learn a little of their language even if it is just a few words of greeting or thanks. It will let them know that you care and you are willing to try. Try their foods without sticking your nose up at it. If they can survive on it, then so can you barring any medical considerations. I can pretty much guarantee that the more you learn about, and try to immerse yourself into their culture the more meaning it will have for you as you travel with a purpose through this big wonderful world.

God Bless you until next time!

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